you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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