Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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