She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
