Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
