who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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