If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
