I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
