Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
