are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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