Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
