i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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