but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
