): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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