I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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