If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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