hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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