The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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