considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
