I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
