I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
