two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
