i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
