so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
