I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
