I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
