so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
