the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
