You smell like stripper and shame
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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