Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
