somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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