I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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