love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
