they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
