And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did I show you my penis last night?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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