Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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