When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
