You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
