I'm passing your future prison.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
