OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
