I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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