So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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