Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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