Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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