and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
