ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
