after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize