Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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