9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
