I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Boobs speak an international language.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
