i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
