i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
