My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
