Can Purell be used as lube?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Someone signed my nipple.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize