im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
