so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
