Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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