Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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