Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
