okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
