totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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