She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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